There's an old saying that hits home for me: "To win the world, you need to win the self first." As someone who deals with life's ups and downs and work challenges every day, I've come to see that knowing myself is key. This goes beyond just being aware of what I'm good at and where I struggle. It's about getting a handle on my emotions—how my mood kicks off, the way it changes as the day goes on, and how I can keep things on an even keel. This article looks at my path to understanding myself better and getting a grip on my feelings.
The Mood Scale:
A Personal Framework I Created Through the years, I came up with an easy-to-use tool I've named the Mood Scale. It allows me to monitor my feelings as the day goes on. This scale consists of five main conditions: hurt, sad, neutral, pleasant, and happy. When I figure out where I stand on this scale, it enables me to handle my responses and choices more .
Hurt: When emotional pain or deep distress hits me, I need to spot it and tackle its source. Sometimes, I have to take a step back and rethink my approach.
Sad: Feeling blue or disheartened happens, but owning up to it lets me take baby steps to boost my mood. I try not to let the blues hang around, whether I'm mulling things over or doing something that puts a smile on my face.
Neutral: I often kick off my day in this middle ground—not chipper or down in the dumps. It's a solid starting point for making calls and dealing with folks because it paves the way for clear, level-headed thinking.
Pleasant: When I'm happy and relaxed, I find it's a breeze to get creative and team up with others. This is when I'm at my most productive and open to fresh ideas.
Happy: Joy and satisfaction drive my motivation, but I’ve learned that it’s crucial to stay level-headed even in these moments of happiness. This helps me avoid the pitfalls of overconfidence, ensuring that I make balanced decisions and remain grounded in reality.
My Daily Mood Journey:
Tracking my mood over the past two years has revealed some interesting trends. Here’s how my emotional states typically unfold:
Neutral (Start of the Day): I begin my day with a neutral mood about 80% of the time, providing a balanced foundation.
End of the Day Mood States:
Hurt: 5% of the time
Sad: 13% of the time
Neutral: 19% of the time
Pleasant: 41% of the time
Happy: 17% of the time
Lazy Days: Approximately 5% of the time, I experience “lazy days”—periods where motivation is low, and productivity dips. Recognizing these patterns has been crucial in helping me manage both my personal and professional responsibilities more effectively. Most of these are weekends
Understanding these patterns has made a significant difference in how I navigate my life, allowing me to better anticipate and manage my emotional responses throughout the day.
The Science Behind My Mood Management
As I’ve delved deeper into understanding my moods, I’ve come across some fascinating research that backs up what I’ve been experiencing.
Emotional Intelligence (EI):
Self-awareness and Self-management:I learned that the anterior cingulate cortex and prefrontal cortex in my brain play a big role in recognizing and managing my emotions. Once I’m cognizant of my emotional state, I’m better prepared to keep it in check, which is crucial for making sound decisions and maintaining strong interactions.
https://mindlabneuroscience.com/emotional-intelligence/
Social Consciousness and Relationship Management:Understanding the emotions of others is just as important. The amygdala and mirror neuron systems help me empathize and connect with people, whether in my personal life or at work.
Neuroplasticity
The brain’s ability to change and adapt—neuroplasticity—has given me hope that I can continually improve how I handle stress and emotions. By regularly tracking my mood and reflecting on it, I’m training my brain to become more stable and resilient.
Behavioral Psychology
I found that my mood directly impacts how I work and make decisions. When I’m in a positive mood, I’m more creative and better at solving problems. Being aware of this helps ensure that I’m in the right frame of mind when making important decisions.
Applying This to My Life
Being the master of my feelings and behavior has been the main thing that demarcates my performing kink into the very narrow path I am walking to the end. It’s not just about feeling better; it’s about being more effective in everything I do.
Empathy and Understanding Others: I become a better person when I favor my emotions without speaking them out. This can bring about better communication, the person is more loved and trusted, and decisions can be taken that are more thought of, be it in conversations with a close friend or at work.
Resilience and Adaptability: Having control over my emotions, the training of which I regard as my best self-regulation tool, has made me stronger to stand up to the uncertainty I usually find in myself. Now I have become more adept at getting up and carrying on....
Here's a more personalized and human-centered approach to managing negative emotions in the workplace, focusing on real-life examples and tailored suggestions:
Negative Emotion | Potential Triggers | Control Strategies |
Stress | Overwhelming workload, tight deadlines, unclear expectations | Example: You’re juggling multiple projects and feeling overwhelmed. Strategy: Reach out to a trusted colleague and share your workload concerns. They might offer to help or provide advice on how to prioritize. Sometimes, just talking it out with someone who understands can reduce the burden significantly. Consider setting small, manageable goals to create a sense of accomplishment throughout the day. |
Frustration | Lack of progress, frequent miscommunication, unmet expectations | Example: You’re stuck on a project due to miscommunication with a team member. Strategy: Instead of sending another email, try a quick video call or face-to-face conversation. Use this time to express how you’re feeling and ask for their perspective. Often, hearing the tone of voice or seeing body language can clear up misunderstandings faster than written communication. |
Anxiety | Uncertainty about outcomes, fear of failure | Example: You’re anxious about an upcoming presentation. Strategy: Practice your presentation with a friend or family member who can give honest feedback. Knowing that you’ve rehearsed with a supportive audience can ease anxiety. Additionally, remind yourself of past successes and how you overcame similar challenges. Writing these down can serve as a confidence booster. |
Anger | Feeling disrespected, treated unfairly, undervalued | Example: A colleague undermined your idea in a meeting, and you’re angry. Strategy: Take a walk outside to clear your head before reacting. Once calm, write down your thoughts and feelings. This helps clarify your emotions and prepares you to address the issue constructively later. If possible, schedule a one-on-one with the colleague to discuss how their actions affected you, focusing on how you felt rather than accusing them. |
Disappointment | Unmet goals, rejection, lack of recognition | Example: You were passed over for a promotion you worked hard for. Strategy: Allow yourself to feel the disappointment fully before you move on. It’s okay to take a day to process. Once ready, consider writing a reflective journal entry about what you learned from the experience. This can help turn disappointment into a valuable lesson. Also, seek feedback from your manager on what you can improve for the future. |
Guilt | Making a mistake, missing a deadline, letting someone down | Example: You missed an important deadline and feel guilty about it. Strategy: Own up to the mistake and apologize to those affected, but don’t dwell on the guilt. Instead, focus on making it right—perhaps by working extra hours to catch up or offering to help a colleague who was impacted by the delay. Afterward, consider what led to the missed deadline and plan how to avoid it in the future, like setting earlier internal deadlines or breaking tasks into smaller steps. |
Boredom | Repetitive tasks, lack of challenge | Example: You’re feeling unchallenged by your current tasks. Strategy: Look for opportunities to add variety to your day. For instance, propose a new project or take on a small task outside your usual responsibilities. You could also take a few minutes each day to learn something new—whether it’s a skill related to your job or a hobby. Sometimes, breaking the monotony is about bringing your passions into the workplace. |
Loneliness | Remote work, lack of social interaction | Example: Working from home has left you feeling isolated. Strategy: Schedule regular video coffee chats with colleagues or join a virtual team activity. If that’s not enough, consider creating a dedicated workspace in a local café or coworking space to simulate a more social environment. Reach out to an old colleague or friend during breaks—it doesn’t have to be work-related, just something to remind you that you’re not alone. |
Impatience | Slow progress, waiting for others | Example: You’re waiting on someone else to complete their part of a project, and it’s delaying your work. Strategy: Use this time to focus on tasks you can control. It might be helpful to check in with the person, not in a demanding way, but to offer assistance or clarify any blockers they might be facing. If possible, take a moment to engage in a calming activity like a short meditation or a quick physical exercise to release the built-up tension. |
Resentment | Perceived favoritism, unresolved conflicts | Example: You feel resentful toward a colleague who seems to be getting more recognition than you. Strategy: Reflect on why you’re feeling this way—does it stem from a specific incident or an ongoing situation? If it’s affecting your work, consider having a candid conversation with your manager about your concerns. Sometimes, addressing the issue head-on can help clear the air and resolve feelings of resentment. Also, remind yourself of your strengths and achievements to maintain perspective. |
This is more or less what I followed....
I wouldn't say that they work for everyone. But what I can definitely say is to accept the weakness, breaking it to smaller pieces and making minor modifications in our approach towards such incidents can make things better definitely.
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